Samuel David Wootton — Victoria, Australia

Hey De, This unfortunate-looking dude lurks around dating apps and social media trying to find women to date because he’s absolutely desperate. He wields a microscopic Greg – only a few people have lived to see it. I’m glad I wasn’t one, but legend has it, it’s the size of a mealworm. He has difficulty attracting women due to his appearance and mealworm appendages and when rejected he goes absolutely insane. Beware, ladies. He’s out there, waiting and wanting.

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